Valentine’s Day Apps: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Developers make
Valentine’s Day apps for those
Cheating and faithful

by Tim Aaron
Aurnhammer Philosopher and Social Media Strategist

The day of romantic love is quickly approaching (how fantastic; techies who only use profanities in binary don’t give a 01100110 01110101 01100011 01101011). On February 14^th, sweet nothings will be whispered and smooches exchanged as people welcome the amorous holiday in full, canoodling spirit. Devices will be primed to receive incoming emails, texts, clips, and video valentines of jubilant beloveds; the amount of data created will be immense and its nature disgustingly sappy. Additionally, valentine apps will be put to full use, engaging users with bubbly and affectionate experiences that embody sentiments of endearment and adoration. Such apps will take many forms from kiss-o-grams and interactive cupids to lovers’ picture booths and, of course, mushy valentine games. And you’d think that all of these apps would espouse the warm feelings of love and compassion associated with this kind-hearted day. However, as the bearer of intriguing news, I’ll candidly disclose that some of these apps are a little bit unsavory and may have not been created in the finest taste. Taking a closer look, let’s scrutinize the good, the bad, and the ugly of intimate Valentine’s Day apps.
The Good: cute, animated characters lip-syncing delightful, recorded messages

Nothing says “I love you” more than a visually sensational and contextually appropriate valentine tailored to the personality of the individual to whom you are sending it. Now, with the Say It! Animated Greetings app, you can express your affection with an animated Valentine’s Day card that will show your sweetheart just how much you care. In accordance with the ultimate Valentine’s Day recipe of cute animals + words of endearment = a lover who is swooning from euphoria, this app delivers the good-spirited results that you’re going for. And what’s more, it’s simple and quicker than making a collage valentine yourself. Just choose an animated character, record your oh-so seductive voice, send out the valentine via email or your choice of social network, and wait for the crazy to come out.
The Bad: app for hiding your lover on the side and concealing all correspondence with her or him

Nothing says “I love you” more than never having your significant other find out about your secret lover on the side. Now, with Cate App, you can delete call, text, and picture-mail logs instantly and even blacklist your extramarital partner so that that conversation will never have to happen (and to everyone who might think that this app’s consumer base is strewn with adulterous men, let it be known that 70% of the downloads have come from female customers[1]). Then, when you’re free, simply type in your user-created password onto your keypad and you’ll instantly be able to see your blacklisted number’s correspondence history. If someone unwelcome were to inconveniently walk in during your communication monitoring, a simple shake of your device would immediately kill the app and take you to your home page. What’s more, Cate App does not anchor an app icon onto your display screen in order to ensure a discrete way in which to manage your clandestine communications.

The Ugly: the hairy valentine

Nothing says “I love you” more than a hairy man delivering charming rhapsodies to your loved one for you while your presence is absent. Now, also with the Say It! Animated Greetings app, you can give your significant other a heart felt, animated message that conveys your deepest affection and appreciation of his or her part in your life, while you’re not there. The hairy valentine’s moustache and chest hair are sure to create an exhilarating spectacle while your words of endearment and devotion complete the electrifying experience. Simply choose the hairy valentine, record your intimate message, send out the valentine via email or your choice of social network, and wait for the passionate reaction.

Conclusion

Whether a lover, a cheater, or both, Valentine’s Day developers have come up with a variety of mobile applications that cater to partners who have one valentine as well as to partners who have multiple valentines. Once you choose your Valentine’s Day initiative, join the discussion and share your thoughts on which approach is the best to take. Only through collaborative discussion will we advance knowledge and achieve enlightenment.